My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
