i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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