Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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