I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
