I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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