So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
