i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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