your room smells of hookers.
And success
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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