She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
