So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
