He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize