I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize