a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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