she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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