dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
