Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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