Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
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Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.