I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
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Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.