apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.