I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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