All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
