is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
