Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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