you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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