This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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