But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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