I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
