Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize