You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?