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• (913): View more from Kansas

  ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  First class.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  What?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.

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  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future

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• (949): View more from California

  You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!

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