How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize