my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?