MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize