I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
