I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
