I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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