I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
