I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
