Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
