Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
