I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
