He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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