Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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