we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
