How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize