brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
