i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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