My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
