We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize