Betty ford says i'm here all night
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
