So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
