You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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