Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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