New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
