The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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