Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
