So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
