Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
