I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
