May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
