the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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