I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
